Is anyone else having problems with donors.........
Is anyone else having problems with donors.........
littleman- Posts : 12
Join date : 2010-08-03
Re: Is anyone else having problems with donors.........
However, prior to that, I had HORRIBLE luck. Moms saying yes and then not replying to me (like you are having), moms promising to be repeat donors and not being, 1 mom promising she could exclusively feed my daughter, lives locally, and then emails me and tells me she changed her mind (and this was like a week before my daughter was due). Hang in there!
veggiegymrat- Posts : 46
Join date : 2010-01-04
Age : 40
Location : Arizona
Re: Is anyone else having problems with donors.........
It turns out her son is a reverse cycler (i.e. when baby doesn't touch the bottle at daycare but makes up for it when they get home), but figured out how to take a bottle at daycare and the mom's supply went down. So, she needed her stash after all...but then once he started solids, he went on bottle strikes again. So that is why I didn't hear from her for 3 months.
I never thought I'd say this, but I've had to turn away donors too. Mainly as of late, because the donor milk's too "young" (since my daughter's over a year old now). I have one donor from the old forum (on the Yahoo group) who is still pumping for us, she has a 14-month old so the age of the milk is just perfect for us.
It's too bad because this forum doesn't lend itself as easily for people to stay in touch after initial contact, because it isn't linked to email addresses like the old Yahoo group was. It is entirely dependant on a person checking the forum.
bhtimm- Posts : 102
Join date : 2010-01-04
Re: Is anyone else having problems with donors.........
Catnurse- Posts : 6
Join date : 2010-06-26
Age : 45
Location : Northern Virginia
Re: Is anyone else having problems with donors.........
lucysmommy- Posts : 14
Join date : 2010-06-17
Re: Is anyone else having problems with donors.........
If mama decides to change her mind and not want to donate or follow through after all its her milk and her hard earned time so thus be it!!!
I just move on!
I think donors are AMAZING and those that have the heart to but can't or decide not to for whatever reason I still respect and honor the fact that they had the desire to help another human being.
I have had mamas say they want to help only to not be able to produce what they thought they could, or realize it was more work then they bargained for, or that they just realized they didn't make enough later on to meet even their own babies needs, or they just talked to someone else and didnt feel comfortable with the process because of being afraid of a law suit or they just decided that they wanted to help someone local or that they just decided to keep their milk just in case. I think all in all their hearts are in the right place and that it just doesn't work for whatever reason. I say thats ok and move on because it was their heart that was special. I send my hugs and move on.
To me that is a gift all on its own to witness such love for another human bieng that they WANT to but change their mind later.
So I just move on and keep up my search and sometimes get discouraged but after all we have nooooo right to complain or judge as these woman work their hineys off to make milk, I envy them no matter what they decide to do with it.
This is just my 2 cents so no offense taken please.
I just hope that recipients don't have the "entitled " attitude. If the donor follows through GREAT if not then her heart was at least in the right spot.
Good luck,
And thank you donor mamas for even considering being a milkshare mama even if you don't or aren't able to follow through. MANY HUGS and much gratitude!!
mommyofmany- Posts : 37
Join date : 2010-01-05
Re: Is anyone else having problems with donors.........
"This is just my 2 cents so no offense taken please.
I just hope that recipients don't have the "entitled " attitude. If the donor follows through GREAT if not then her heart was at least in the right spot."
I have had one donor who did not follow through because I think it was more work than she realized. I don't hold anything against her and thank her for at least trying to help my family.
Jodibug- Posts : 70
Join date : 2010-01-06
Location : Elizabeth City, NC
Re: Is anyone else having problems with donors.........
If I'm wrong OP feel free to correct me but that's what I was talking about.
veggiegymrat- Posts : 46
Join date : 2010-01-04
Age : 40
Location : Arizona
Re: Is anyone else having problems with donors.........
Perhaps they don't feel comfortable responding because they are not sure how to tell you they decided not to, is all I am saying.
I understand some of the frusteration as I have sent a cooler with bm bags and all shipping supplies only to never recieve it back again and after several attempted emails just gave up and moved on. I was a bit taken back because I had spent so much money on shipping, supplies and the cooler but what could I do I guess. But if its just a ignore after commitment it doesn't bother me as much because I feel they have their reasons perhaps they are embarassed that they changed their mind or that they really didn't feel comfortable with your family for whatever reason.
I don't know I guess despite having gone through this SEVERAL times (i am pg with my 3rd recipient baby) meaning I have been getting donors and milk for the last 5 years and usually until my babies are 18 mo -2 years I still never want to feel entitled to it even if they say they will give it and don't. Because as a nursing pumping mom myself (i don't make nearly enough) I understand the attatchment to milk from the hard work pumping thats involved I mean to me its soooo much extra work. anyway just another take on it.
mommyofmany- Posts : 37
Join date : 2010-01-05
Re: Is anyone else having problems with donors.........
But on the other hands, all of my recipients to whom I had the opportunities to donate have been absolutely wonderful
To get back to the OP's question, as other PP mentioned, maybe it was hard for the donor to tell that she changed her mind for whatever the reason is. But I agree that the donor "could" have said something to the recipient as a courtesy. I wanted to be a on-going donor, but due to my military training etc., I was expecting a drop of supply at one point, so in my email, I tried to mention that I'll try but not sure when the next time will be.
I know it's frustrating, but hang in there!
watawata- Posts : 25
Join date : 2010-01-04
Re: Is anyone else having problems with donors.........
mommyofmany wrote:Yes I understand what you are saying but.....Perhaps they don't feel comfortable responding because they are not sure how to tell you they decided not to, is all I am saying.
I'm sorry, just my opinion, but that is no justification at all. That's the same as a guy or girl you really like never bothering to give you a straight answer when you ask them out or somehow indicate that you're interested. They figure, "Oh they'll take the 'hint' that I'm not interested." but that's not communicating in an adult manner at all, pretty infantile actually, like a kid pointing at a glass of milk instead of saying it. It take a pretty immature person if they can't be straight with you, and it's also a form of dishonesty because ... NOT telling someone the truth is just as much as a lie as telling then an untruth. If you need to let someone know you can't provide their milk after you agreed to, then you need to Say It!
dt3001- Posts : 4
Join date : 2011-01-03
Re: Is anyone else having problems with donors.........
heres the link: http://milkforbabyziggy.blogspot.com/2010/12/milk-for-baby-ziggy.html
she also posted up on eats on feets, milkshare and what not... asking for donations and with the link to her blog. She also got family and friends to open up 2 drop centers in the us for moms mybe in those areas. She also post up on craiglist as well... and found even a doctor in the area (( a PDA )) to donate her left over milk to her son.
IF u ship with in your state or a couple states of u... shipping ground shipping with ups is with in 1-2 days and around $26 for 500oz... witch isn't allot at all... http://milksharing.blogspot.com/ I am a donor and i donate to a mom that can't produce... we made this blog together how we ship!!!! it has some great info...
but the mom above kristen, she is in NY and gets milk from NJ,OH,VT and PA and shipping isn't much at all!!!
I hope that helps...I know moms that have had moms back out tons of times... pumping is hard work and alot of times donors tell moms they will help, but then when it comes down to it... with there own lives and family. ITs alot of time and they find they can't do it. Then they feel bad, and dont even want to tell u they cant to it and feel bad... I think thats one of the biggest reasons... Also milk sharen isn't always accpeted know a days... :-( kirsten had a mom with 500oz of milk back out cus her husband thought it was werid!!!!
Re: Is anyone else having problems with donors.........
lesalia217- Posts : 6
Join date : 2010-06-23
Re: Is anyone else having problems with donors.........
kauaiangirl- Posts : 23
Join date : 2010-08-11
Age : 44
Location : Hawaii
» Looking for milk for my son with kidney problems
» adopted son with health problems in need of breast milk
» 3.5 month needs supplementation due to low milk suppply but has problems with formula (Riverdale)
» THANK you, THANK you, THANK you donors!