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Disappointing.... disheartening

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Disappointing.... disheartening

Post by somewhatsinglemama on Thu Oct 14, 2010 5:01 pm

I have talked endlessly to my friends who are high producers about MilkShare. One of them- from the kindness of her heart found her way over her- posted her offer and someone took her up on it.

She packed her milk and shipped it with care via FedEx and the recipient accepted it. Yay right??? Baby has milk- life is good.

This is where it gets hairy. The donor did not ship the exact way that the recipient requested and sent a very nasty email. Mad
The donor replied kindly and gently- yet setting boundaries.
Then the recipient has not yet reimbursed the donor after several weeks. Exclamation
The donor emailed the mods here and has had no communication from them Crying or Very sad

As of now the donor is pretty mad- she gave her MILK- to feed a baby in need and she is not met with gratitude- but anger??? Therefore she will not be donating her precious milk any more.

Evil or Very Mad

I am very disappointed in this community. And embarrassed that I have spoken so highly of it Embarassed

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Re: Disappointing.... disheartening

Post by 7swans on Thu Oct 14, 2010 5:21 pm

Oh, this makes me so sad. Sad As a recipient, I cannot imagine treating a donor mom that way. I have had some people (not from this site) ship milk "incorrectly" so that it was half thawed, but the newest research suggests that there is no real issue with re-freezing it. I always do a smell/taste test anyway, and I would never dream of giving someone crap about that. I am ALWAYS grateful that someone has taken the time to help my family. I am so sorry that your friend had this happen - hopefully the person can be banned. As an aside, I always send the donor mom a pre-paid shipping label. It's very easy to make one on the UPS or FedEx website and email it to the mom. There is no reason why she should have had to pay out of pocket for the shipping. Please let her know that she is a wonderful person for helping out that little baby!
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Re: Disappointing.... disheartening

Post by MamitaM on Thu Oct 14, 2010 5:38 pm

Hi Kim!!!

I think as long as the milk arrived safe and sound the recipient shouldn't be so mad. She could have sent a message gently explaining how the donor should ship it next time ans he should pay for the shipping of course. I hope your friend finds a better match to donate to and things go nicer next time.

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Re: Disappointing.... disheartening

Post by 7swans on Thu Oct 14, 2010 6:34 pm

Hi Michelle! Very Happy I totally agree with what you said. I hope you know how much we appreciate you! <3
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Re: Disappointing.... disheartening

Post by MamitaM on Thu Oct 14, 2010 6:53 pm

I do! I'm really enjoying pumping and knowing that such a sweet and happy little gal is getting milk that she really needs. It's also teaching my sonny boy how to share with others Smile

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Re: Disappointing.... disheartening

Post by somewhatsinglemama on Thu Oct 14, 2010 8:20 pm

I have loved sharing my milk. I have met wonderful women and made great friends. It is a fulfilling expereince for me....

It is sad that my friend did not get the experience that I did.

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Re: Disappointing.... disheartening

Post by MommaJenn on Fri Oct 15, 2010 6:34 am

That's horrible. I'm a recipient and I could never treat a donor like that, even if the milk was thawed, or something else. I know how hard it is to pump, especially if you don't have an over abundance of supply.

I think it is best to remember that there are always good and bad in every group, there can be good and bad recipients and donors.

I really hope your friend does donate again, maybe to a milk bank or something. There are going to be moms who appreciate her milk.
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Re: Disappointing.... disheartening

Post by JAMs Wife on Fri Oct 15, 2010 9:20 am

I can't believe that person did not reimburse the expenses!!! Stories like this turn off mamas from going through the trouble to ship milk to babies in need.
I am sorry to hear that she has had a bad experience and hopes she chooses to donate again, maybe locally this time...

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Re: Disappointing.... disheartening

Post by somewhatsinglemama on Fri Oct 15, 2010 1:55 pm

for clarification- the milk was not defrosted when arriving- the shipping issue was that she did not use FedEx home delivery and instead opted for a slightly more expensive option that did come with a guarantee of on time delivery

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Re: Disappointing.... disheartening

Post by Admin on Fri Oct 15, 2010 2:01 pm

Sorry for your bad experience, but don't judge the community as a whole by this one individual. We highly encourage donor moms to get reimbursed for costs PRIOR to shipping to avoid these issues. Another option is to have the recipient create a shipping account so they are billed directly. Avoids troubles like these.
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Re: Disappointing.... disheartening

Post by mel chris on Sat Oct 16, 2010 6:10 am

I'm sorry that happened to your friend! But that is just one individual, like Admin said, and not the entire community! Hopefully it won't happen again. I also hope your friend will donate if she still has extra milk as there ARE many parents who are very appreciative and would not treat their donors that way even if there were miscommunications, and babies in need of BM, although it's totally understandable that she feels the way she does.

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