milk needed in Michigan for a desperate EPing mama

Email me: cjbennett4@gmail.com

I posted this in Michigan, but thought I'd also post here, just in case:

Okay, it's pretty long, but here is my story.

My son Liam was born Jan 4th, in a much unwanted c-section (due to dvt/pe). It was a pretty big blow for me, because I had really wanted a natural birth (or homebirth if possible). Afterward, I did not get to see him for hours. Breastfeeding got off to a bad start. And by bad start, I mean no start at all. He refused to latch right from the very beginning. We both ended up staying a week in the hospital. He spent the time in the special care nursery, and I had to fight to try to get him to latch. The doctors/nurses wanted him on a "feeding schedule" so they could routinely check his blood sugar. I knew it wasn't conducive to breastfeeding.. but I was also scared for his health. I tried so hard to get him to latch. I made sure he was only fingerfed, because I didn't want him to get nipple confusion. I was given a nipple shield on day two. He would latch on, but not really suck. I pumped around the clock like crazy.

After we left the hospital, I kept trying to encourage him. I've tried everything possible. I've seen numerous LC's, LLL, peer-counselors, the breastfeeding clinic. I've even drove 2 hours to Ann Arbor to see an osteopath to do cranial manipulation. I've tried rebirthing/nursing in the tub. You name it, and I've probably tried it. The whole time I kept pumping every two hours, around the clock. He didn't even get a bottle (or pacifier) until 8 weeks. I just couldn't keep up the fingerfeeding anymore. I gave up trying to latch him after 18 weeks. I embraced the fact that I was an exclusively pumping mama.

I pumped every two hours for the first 6 weeks, and I've been pumping every 3 hours (8 times a day) since then. I've kept pumping through thrush, mastitis, and recurrent clogged ducts. My supply has always been low. On my own I only make about 8-10 ounces. With power pumps, fenugreek/blessed thistle/alfalfa/etc I make about 13 ounces. I did a round of reglan, but it made me horribly depressed. I've been taking domperidone. My doctor wouldn't right me an RX for it, so I ordered online. Even on domperidone, I can only make 18ish ounces.

Last week I was very sick. I slept through a lot of my pumps, and couldn't keep any food down. My supply plummeted. Two days ago I only got 2.5 ounces all day long. Yesterday I was able to get it up to 5.5 ounces. I'm currently back to pumping every 2 hours.. but I'm started to feel like I just can't do this anymore. I only have two weeks of domperidone left, and I'm really worried. I really wanted to make it to a year. If I had been able to nurse, I would have nursed at least two years. With having to EP, I just want to make it a year.

If anyone can donate to help me get him more milk, I would really appreciate. I hate making bottles of formula. It just reminds me how much my body sucks, and how much I've failed at all of this. I wanted a natural birth, and to breastfeed so badly.. and I couldn't do either. I plan to keep pumping, but I could still really use some help. I know it's not for a sick baby, or adopted, or preemie, or any of the things people usually ask for... but I really want to give him as much breast milk for as long as I can.

Sorry for the sob story.. it got a little long.